A Dave's Eye View

Detoxing

2010-05-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

I know a little bit about detoxing. Working at a youth jail I have seen teenagers come in after going to the hospital first because of their heavy drinking or drug abuse. It can take time and some work and time to feel normal again.

Yesterday I took the 10 Skyline Chili Dog Challenge. It was an adventure. I finished the first five really quickly-like less than four minutes. I think it was about the eighth chili dog where I hit a wall. I finally finished them all in 17:46 and achieved wall of champions status! It was a lot of fun. Myself and our Kids Pastors had some great laughs along the way.

I needed to do some "detoxing" later on. When I got home that afternoon I did a few things to detox. I drank a lot of water. I took a nap. I went to the gym for a light workout and some time in the sauna and steam room.

Sometimes I feel like I need to detox spiritually. Sometimes I feel sick with my blatant sin or apathy. The thing about spiritual detoxing is that I can't clean myself up. I need to swallow my pride and ask God for help. One of the amazing things about God is that He is always willing to forgive us and clean us up when we ask for it and genuinely mean it. Then we are able to move forward because whatever cleaned out of is gone. God has taken out our trash and invites us to walk with Him. That is my God! So amazing!

FCA -devo/greatest individual sport

2010-04-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

Real wrestling is the greatest individual sport in the world (in my humble opinion) and makes for a incredible event in Genesis 32-I could write about it-but the actual Bible passage is much better. I competed in wrestling for ten years and coached for two more. I ran across a devotional that included some thoughts about the great sport of wrestling so I am sharing it here:

Fellowship of Christian Athletes Daily Impact Play
What We Wrestle
Thursday, April 8th, 2010

READY:
“For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.”
-Ephesians 6:12

SET:
I love to watch wrestling. No, not the slam dunk, throw-em-across-the-ring brawls you see on television, but the true competition that takes place on mats across the country during the bleak winter months. Two contestants walk across the mat and, with a steely eyed stare, get ready to engage in a battle of strength and will. After three two-minute periods of power, strength and speed, one winner emerges with his or her hand raised by the referee. Often, the loser is defeated by a more qualified opponent, but once in awhile, a superior wrestler simply underestimates an opponent and that person’s abilities.

In the book of Ephesians, Paul says that we do not battle a physical enemy, but one that is powerful and of the dark world. These spiritual combatants want nothing more than to destroy us and they will do anything and everything they can to bring on that destruction. How often in our everyday struggles do we underestimate the power of the dark grapplers that ensnare us? How many times do we under-train for the onslaught that comes at us by the dark forces, and thus, succumb to their arrows of drugs, alcohol and other sins?

When we understand the power and strength of our enemy, we start to understand the necessity of spiritual training. A few minutes a day glancing over a dusty Bible or a hurried half muttered prayer will not strengthen us to fight the good fight. To gain true spiritual strength we must train daily, and train as if our lives depend on it!

GO:
1. How many times have you underestimated the powers and principalities of the dark world?
2. Have you asked God for strength? How has He responded to you?
3. If you feel that you are being beaten down beyond your capabilities, you should talk to a trusted pastor or Christian friend. God strengthens us, but we must do our part by seeking counsel, and by studying and praying.

WORKOUT:
Zechariah 4:6
Luke 1:37
Acts 1:8
James 4:7

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Roger Williams

Has God put a lesson on your heart? Share it with others! Go to www.FCAResources.com create an account and "submit your own FCA devo!"

UFC fighter Rich Franklin's blog

2010-04-06T15:13:00.001-07:00

I get regular e-mails of former middle weight ultimate fighting champion Rich "Ace" Franklin's blog. It's good stuff! Right now he is taking some questions from fans. Here's a blog post that I received today.

BEING A CHRISTIAN

Brian Green asks: I was wondering more about your relationship with Jesus. Maybe trivial questions such as favorite book in the bible, favorite worship song, and something I think would be cool to know is what denomination you are a member of. Rich, you are a diamond in the rough, a devout Christian in a world of gambling, violence, alcohol etc... Shine on in the name of Jesus.

Rich's Answer: Many people have asked about my faith, and I am not trying to press anything on anyone...this is a slice of my life. My parents began going to and Independent Baptist Church when I was young, and I came to know Jesus at the age of 5. I attend a non-denominational church now, but the minister has roots in a Baptist church as well. There is much legalism in many religions and churches, and it is something I try to avoid. Christians often judge and do things according to tradition, and it turns many "could be" followers of Christ away. I am not perfect, and the public light causes heavy scrutiny on my every action at times. A reading I like to keep in mind is Romans Ch. 7 verses 15-25. Paul talks about his inward struggle with sin. Although he wants to do the right thing, he fails. I feel like I come up short often, and every Christian should. If you are a non-believer reading this, take a look at the verses..it's something to keep in mind the next time you run into a "holier than thou" person.

faith of Drew Brees-Superbowl Champion quarterback

2010-02-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

Check out www.fca.org to see Drew Brees introduce FCA camp, learn more about him, and watch him present devotional videos.

Some information on Nickelodeon game website

2010-01-20T20:27:00.000-08:00

It's a good idea to check out what your children might be in danger of looking at.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDpRJNfGiYw

I hope that is helpful.

The correct name of our new addition

2010-01-17T05:35:00.000-08:00

I am very excited about the M.A.C. opening later this month. To have such a great facility is a huge blessing. I want to take a moment to help everyone (at least everyone who is reading my blog) to understand something. For whatever reason many people have been calling our new addition which will be the primarily for our church's youth ministries- The M.A.C. Center. The addition will be a huge blessing, but to call it the M.A.C. Center would be very redundant because M.A.C. stands for multi activity center. To call the new addition the M.A.C. Center would be in essence calling it the Multi Activity Center Center. I hope that clears things up. Thanks for reading.

Rhett and Link

2009-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Check out what I have been laughing at as of late (highly recommended because I have really good taste):

http://rhettandlink.com/

advent conspiracy

2009-12-03T16:44:00.000-08:00

Check this out:

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/videos/ I recommend the "Enter The Story" video. To view it with an open heart= potentially very good for your soul.

Taco Bell Youth Ministry

2009-11-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

I was at Taco Bell a few days ago looking at their menu. I thought about why I go to Taco Bell so often. What they advertise draws me back to eat there again and again. Taco Bell has the same familiar reliable favorites that I enjoy, but they also are continually changing up certain items-a slightly different burrito or nacho, or a new fruit drink.

I think that youth ministry is like that. Well, at least weekly events are like that. There are some mainstays, but some things should change each week to keep it interested and exciting even if it is a just a variation of what we have been doing. As much as change can make me uncomfortable, I think in this case "variety is the spice of life."

Youth Specialties parent newsletter

2009-11-02T16:14:00.001-08:00

Check out the YS parent newsletter:

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Links to Learn From
4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

1. Tools for Parenting Teens

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
Redefining Success

What are you some of our deepest hopes for our children? How do we define “success” for them? Are we rooting for them to gain financial security, career satisfaction, and universal respect and devotion from their peers—or to become success…
Read More:
http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/article/redefining_success1/
Featured Resource: Boundaries with Teens

In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/
2. Learn Their Lingo

Last Texter = That friend that always sends you a meaningless text after the obvious end of a text conversation, just to get the last text.

KPC = Text shorthand meaning "keep parents clueless."
3. Links to Learn From

Up Close & Personal with Lisa T. Bergren
http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2009/sepoct/upcloseandpersonal-lisatbergren.html

Study Reveals More Details About The iPhone Mom
http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/10/26/study-reveals-more-details-about-behavior-of-the-iphone-mom/

“Say Aah” …and, “What’s in Your iPod?”
http://www.thesource4ym.com/youthculturewindow/article.asp?id=99
4. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.
- Thomas Paine

a blog for volunteers from a volunteer

2009-10-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

Check this out:

http://www.volunteeryouthministry.com/

yay! for peanut butter

2009-10-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

I recently had a "reeses peanut butter cup for peanut butter lovers." It is nice to know that someone was thinking about me.

YS parent newletter

2009-09-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

This is the most recent Youth Specialties parent newsletter. I hope that it is beneficial and thought provoking.

1. Tools for Parenting Teens
2. Learn Their Lingo
3. Movie Reviews
4. Links to Learn From
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

1. Tools for Parenting Teens

From http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/
When God Waits

One of the most difficult questions for Christian parents to answer is, “Why did God let this happen?” At issue may be the death of a loved one or a pet or any devastating loss deeply felt. If God is…
Read More:
http://www.realworldparents.com/starters/article/when_god_waits/
Featured Resource: Sacred Parenting

Explore the spiritual dynamics of parenting, and why caring for children is such an effective discipline in shaping our souls and forming the character of Christ within us.

Save 20% off the retail price of “Sacred Parenting” when you use Coupon Code YPN391 and order by 9/30/09
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/sacred_parenting/
2. Learn Their Lingo

Frenemy = An enemy disguised as a friend.

Kind of a big deal = A term for a person who is facetiously joking about how important/cool/awesome they are.
3. Movie Reviews for Parents
I Can Do Bad All By Myself

Tyler Perry has quickly become one of our most successful filmmakers. His usually urban stories lean toward the melodramatic, walking the line between comedy and…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/i_can_do_bad_all_by_myself/
9

This dark, post-apocalyptic tale began as an 11-minute short film by a UCLA animation student. The wildly original story is built on a very spiritual…
Read Review:
http://www.realworldparents.com/movies/review/nine/
4. Links to Learn From

Smacking Makes Children Naughtier [Telegraph U.K.]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6188692/Smacking-makes-children-naughtier-research.html

Reading and Writing Must Be a Priority [SmartBrief.com]
http://www.smartbrief.com/news/ascd/storyDetails.jsp?issueid=1EFBA3A0-48F5-4FAF-9FA2-7968350229B3©id=6DE78BF4-3E0C-44B9-AC50-91CE01674BBD

Study Shows Teenage Girls Attracted to Deep Voices [Physorg.com]
http://www.physorg.com/news172304097.html
5. A Little Encouragement...And Humor

Where there is love, there is pain.
- Spanish Proverb

our middle school ministry has awesome leaders!

2009-09-14T17:30:00.000-07:00

The past few days has really reaffirmed just how great our leaders are. On Wednesday night everyone stepped up. Several examples come to mind. There are really too numerous to mention them all. We had one leader that couldn't come to act in his usual role so he made the time to come and help us set up for a while. Another leader skipped a meeting to minister to students. Another leader worked diligently for a long time to make sure that our computers would work when our presentation software was having issues. I heard about leaders reorganizing their schedule to come early and minister to students. Our leaders makes sure things get done and students are loved. Food and tech equipment were managed with great attitudes and skill which all takes several hours respectively.

We have leaders sacrificing their Saturday mornings to help students develop their spiritual gits and prepare to lead others in worship.

On Sunday I was again amazed. Our leaders were prepared and enthusiastic. Two of them thought they were not going to be able to make it, but somehow showed up. You can tell that our leaders our making a huge difference in the lives of students by the loud cheering for their small group leaders when they were announced! Our students love their small group leaders because their small group leaders love them.

Our leaders encourage me and pray for me. I am continually impressed by their flexibility and positivity. The people that I have the privilege to serve with our incredible. Their actions and attitudes remind me of this time and time again.

My new role

2009-08-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am so excited about my new role as Middle School Pastor at Fairhaven Church. This is not "just a next step for me." This is pretty much my dream job! I love sharing Jesus with middle school students. Being a Middle School Pastor frees me up to do just that. It is a great honor and privilege to be Middle School Pastor. I am thankful to God for bringing me here. I am also thankful to Kevin for inviting me into serving in this ministry, mentoring me, and then "passing the torch to me."

What's even better than being a Middle School Pastor is being in that role at Fairhaven Church. It's not even the size of the church, or the other people on staff that make us all more effective (web, printing, video, etc.), or that our church is doing well financially, or that it is somewhat prestigious to be on staff here, or that the building is getting bigger. What makes Fairhaven Church such an awesome place to serve God is the people and the atmosphere they create. I am free to be myself and to try to be creative and that is so important to me. I am being stretched and having a blast! I feel loved and encouraged by the staff and people at this church. I just simply "fit" here. I am thankful that God has brought me here. It is my hope that everyone who comes through the doors would feel the same way. I look forward to seeing what God is going to do in the lives of people in days ahead! He is definitely working!

the "cost" of children

2009-08-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

Here is a recent article from www.yahoo.com about the monetary cost of raising children:

Middle-income family spends $221,000 to raise baby

By BETSY TAYLOR, Associated Press Writer Betsy Taylor, Associated Press Writer – Tue Aug 4, 4:50 pm ET

ST. LOUIS – It's no secret that raising children can be expensive, but how about nearly a quarter of a million dollars expensive?

A government report released Tuesday says a middle-income family with a child born last year will spend about $221,000 raising that child through age 17.

The report by the USDA's Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion identified housing as the largest single expense, followed by food and child care/education costs. The $221,000 in expenses rises to about $292,000 when adjusted for inflation.

USDA economist Mark Lino, who co-authored the report with Andrea Carlson, often hears people say children cost a lot when the annual findings are issued.

"I tell them children also have many benefits, so you have to keep that in mind," he said.

Families with more income spend more money on child-related costs, the report said. A two-parent family that earns less than $57,000 annually will spend about $160,000 on a child from birth through high school. Those with an income between $57,000 and $99,000 spend about $221,000 and those with higher incomes are expected to spend roughly $367,000 through age 17.

Most single-parent households in the U.S. make less than $57,000 and are expected to spend about 7 percent less on child-rearing costs compared to two-parent households in that same income group, according to the report.

Costs of raising a child are highest in the urban northeast and lowest in the urban south and rural areas.

The USDA report helps courts and states determine child-support guidelines and foster care payments. It does not address costs specifically related to childbearing and paying for college.

One of the largest changes over time has been the increase in costs related to care for young children.

The report was first issued in 1960, when such costs were largely negligible, but with more working families turning to outside help with child care, it has grown to be a significant expense for many families. The report does not give total costs related to early child care.

A mother of three, Raben Andrews of St. Louis, said the government figures sounded right to her. "Well, that's not half of it," joked the 42-year-old public school teacher. "I still have to put the little buggers through college."

While the financial costs of children may be a discouragement to some: The Bible says some very positive things about children. A book that I have read and recommend is Precious In His Sight:Childhood and Children in the Bible by Roy B. Zuck. No one has a bigger heart for the young than God himself. In a world that often sees children as a burden instead of a blessing God still calls us to love, cherish, protect, and teach the young.

A couple of verses to check out: Psalm 127:3-5
Matthew 19:14 (also seen in Mark 10:14 & Luke 18:16)

We came..We saw...We brought some smiles to God's face

2009-07-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

I was one of four leaders on our high school ministry's trip to Quito, Ecuador. It was an amazing trip! I have previously been a part of five foreign mission trips, but this was very different. I had been to Panama (the country, not the city in Florida) twice and Peru three times. This was a new country for me. Also, while I had started going on foreign mission trips at the age of 16 and there was always a few youth on each trip I had been on, this is the first primarily student trip I had been a part of.

There is no way that I could adequately sum up all the great things that happened on the trip. While are group is imperfect (as are all people) and had some conflict and challenges,overall our group showed great flexibility, zeal, compassion, boldness, and faith in God.

We had a lot of fun! We also did some work on a church building, Held a ministry program for children for five days, and did some street evangelism. We made a floor in the church building, which requires significantly more work than it would in the United States. That was all we planned to do for the church building. We worked diligently as a team and were able to paint both the inside and outside of the building as well.

Our ministry program for the children went very well. We started the week ministering to about 140 kids. We ended the week ministering to about 250 kids and giving away clothes and toys to over 300 children. It was amazing to see the excitement of the children and the love of our high school students towards them. Duing the last day we gave away the clothes and toys while one of the interpreters preached to some of the parents of the children that we are ministering to. 28 of the parents gave their life to Jesus Christ.

Our street evangelism was a great experience. We started out just inviting people to the program for the children. We shortly began doing much more. We told people of their need for a relationship with Jesus Christ. In the area where we were the people tended to hold very tightly to their Catholic traditions of a work-based salvation. In my trips to Peru and Panama most people gave their life to Jesus Christ after being asked questions and shown scripture. The vast majority of people in the part of Ecuador that we were witnessing to were not that receptive because of how tightly they held onto the traditions that they believe. Most of those that did not make decisions still asked for us to pray for them for specific needs. That was awesome! In my past experiences on foreign mission trips when the person we shared the gospel with did not give their life to Christ we just kind of said, "good bye." This time we practically showed them the love of Jesus by praying for them!

It was a great experience! We ministered along side the Ecuador people We worked as a large cohesive team. The people of Ecuador touched our lives and we made a lasting impact! What a blessing! We will be sharing about the trip on August 9th at a missionary dessert night. Please pray that the people of Quito become much more receptive to the Gospel and that many will come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

FCA resources site

2009-07-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

I was on staff with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes a couple of years ago. They have some great resources for sports focused youth ministry. CHECK THIS OUT:

Introducing FCAResources.com
For the first time in the history of FCA our resources are available in one place, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
You can now:

* Browse over 1,700+ free FCA resources
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If you've come up with great devotionals, bible studies, ice breakers, skits and more, please create an account and submit them! We know there is good stuff out there!
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flyleaf is awesome!

2009-06-11T11:05:00.000-07:00

Flyleaf is one of my favorite bands. I have utilized their songs several times when I teach the Bible to students. Their lyrics are powerful and their sound is incredible! Lacey Mosley (the lead singer) has a powerful testimony of where she's been to where God has brought her. The lyrics are very honest and often times filled with intense emotions. They have only put out one album (although it was re released with some acoustic songs and several music videos), but the music world has taken notice of their talent.

However, one part of the music world that should be supportive of this band has not taken notice for whatever reason. I have not heard their music on Christian radio in this area. One reason for that may be that the types of Christian stations around this area do not play a lot of music that is more aggressive. Their lyrics are distinctively about faith in God and knowing Jesus Christ (more so than The Fray who have recently been adopted by Christian music radio stations). RadioU may be playing flyleaf, but I don't know because their signal is not very strong in this area.

I guess what has brought me to think about this is that sometimes when I am driving home late at night from the juvenile detention center that I work at I flip through the radio stations and I have noticed this show called "X albums you should own." Twice on that radio show (very much a mainstream radio station) I have noticed that the entire flyleaf album was being played. I could not see that happening on our local Christian radio stations (one reason is that they don't have much variety for their programing). They just don't fit the style of music that is common there.

It was amazing to see this as an example of bringing Jesus into the culture (instead of just making another sub-culture for Jesus music). It is amazing to hear lyrics of praise to Jesus and the love and power of God and faith in Him in the middle of commercials for strip clubs and the DJ talking about how "hot" he thinks Lacey Mosley is. Flyleaf is not shy about their faith in God. They talk about their faith on their websites and I have heard that Lacey has several scriptures written on her arms during her concerts.

To me this is Christ-like. Jesus did not come into the earth to make another sub-culture. He came to bring God to people where they were at. He changed and affected the culture and dramatically changed the course of history. I believe that Christians should share Jesus in the culture that we are in and that we should be influencing culture for the glory of God!

learning from those younger than me

2009-06-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

I recently rode in the backseat of a teenager's car. I don't think that I have done this since I was a teenager. While it brought me to pray (because people drive a little differently when they are first learning how), I began to think about somethings. I also had some thoughts provoked from getting kick-boxing lessons from a high school student recently.

I spend a lot of my time working with middle school and high school students. While I am always looking to see what I can teach them, very often I learn from them and am encouraged by them. Sometimes I hear people say things like, I need more depth of learning from Bible teaching. While I do appreciate depth in teaching, I think that sometimes we are missing the point and just don't get it. The truth is that we can learn from anyone if we are really looking to. How often do we actually pray, "Lord teach me." I have had the blessing of several years of formal theological education. I still need to hear continually that I need to share my faith, love God more, and avoid sin. There is a subtle temptation to become arrogant in our faith. The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. The vital truth is this:

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV)

each end of the spectrum

2009-05-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

I know I have a habit of using annoying words. I digress (I'm doing it again). A couple of weekends ago, I experienced two complete opposite kinds of physical contact with youth. I'm not a creepy weirdo so I don't seek out physical contact with minors. Anyway, I am employed at two places which have similarities at times, but are usually very different. They both involve working with middle school and high school students. I work at a church where I do things like teach the Bible, plan events, and much more. I also work at a Juvenile Detention Center. At the church students come because either their parents made them come or because they want to be there. Youth come to the Juvenile Detention Center because they were arrested. I really like my job at the juvenile detention center. I really love my job at the church.

Most Sundays I am at both places. A couple of weeks ago I was reminded of just how different these jobs can be even though they both give me the chance to try to care for students. In the morning I performed my first baptism. It was a big honor, nerve racking, and a humbling experience to baptize someone. I had not been in a baptismal pool since I was nine years old when I was baptized. I can't really put into words, but it was a great privilege to baptize someone. I did it mostly right. I thought the waters were higher than what they are and didn't go down quite enough. I love how we do baptisms. The person getting baptized tells why they want to be baptized. The answers are so bold and exciting!

I experienced the opposite when I was at detention that night as I was involved in my first board restraint. At the Juvenile Detention Center sometimes we have to physically restrain youth if they continue to insist on being a threat to themselves or others. Occasionally, it progresses to a point where we need to strap the youth down to a restraint board if the situation isn't really improving after a long enough time and they are still a serious threat to themselves or others. After physically restraining a youth (out of nessecity and not because I wanted to) we had to strap his entire body straight onto a board so that he would not harm himself. Every 10 or 15 minutes that he was calm then we would take a strap off. I imagine that would be a traumatic experience. Anyone who would need to be put on a restraint board has likely already been threw many traumatic experiences. It was a very emotionally intense experience for me. I was glad we were able to stop the boy from trying to hurt himself for the rest of that day.

Both experiences involve caring for youth and wanting good things for them. However, these experiences could not be much more different. I am so blessed to have two jobs that I really enjoy where I can care about adolescents. They give me such a rich variety of experiences. Life is such an adventure!

some more thoughts on last weekend

2009-05-01T16:08:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning I taught on the topic of Joy to the High School at The Edge. It is probably my favorite topic that I had not taught on before (I have only somewhat mentioned it as it came up in scripture). I am not going to recap what I said or what we discussed, but I would like to add a couple of thoughts.

1. You don't need to be an extrovert to express joy. It is deeper than that. It may just be easier to notice joy in an extrovert.

I know there were some other thoughts that I wanted to add on the topic of joy, but I can't recall them right now.

At Crossroads Kevin taught about how the church should be selfless for one another. I experienced examples of the church being selfless for one another as kind things were done for me the day before Kevin taught as well as the day after. I was at Chipotle picking up dinner for myself on Saturday night and a woman from Fairhaven Church (where I am a member and am on staff at) who I was talking with in line paid for my dinner. Also, on Monday I was at Speedway and a man from Fairhaven paid for my lunch that I was going to get there. I did not ask these people to buy me food, but I felt so blessed that they did. It was nice to have free food, but what is really meaningful is the heart behind the gesture. It was just an unexpected wonderful thing to do for someone. I am truly blessed to be a part of a church where people are selfless for one another.

Parenting advice (not from me)

2009-04-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

This is some parenting tips from teen life ministries:

1. Explain "As You Love Yourself."

With so much talk of humility, most teens think that means to hate
yourself. Denying self and hating self are two entirely different
things. Explain how God wants teens to "love your neighbor as
yourself." Loving self doesn't mean being in love with yourself. It
means that we have a good self-image, a God-image. We are important
not because of who we are, but whose we are.

Whether the world thinks we're geeks or freaks, weirdoes or wackos,
only God's view and vision of us counts. And to Him we are worth
the price of His Son hammered to a cross.

2. Admit Your Insecurities.

As a parent, you may appear larger than life to teens. They may
look at you and think, "I'll never have it together like that." We
know the truth. We're not together. We have struggles, bad hair
days, and poor complexions at times.

When it's appropriate, share the things that cause your self-esteem
to shrink. Share as well the ways that the Lord strengthens you
when you don't feel so hot.

3. Encourage Self-Talk.

Tell your teens to stand in front of the mirror every morning and
night and repeat, "God don't make no junk," or "I'm made in God's
image." It might sound silly, but we really do believe what we say
to ourselves.

It may be impossible to get your teen to repeat that phrase out
loud because of the risk of being teased. Write a few God-esteem
sentences on a 3 x 5 card and give to your child to carry with him
or her.

4. Help Teens Challenge Themselves.

Get your teens proactive in the war against insecurity. A girl
might decide that she will stop buying magazines that promote the
"perfect look." A guy might choose to stop listening to music that
degrades God's creation by elevating suicide over life.

In place of those negatives, your daughter may want to start
reading a Christian magazine for young ladies, while your son might
toss out his CD collection and replace it with Christian artists.
We are what we absorb, so challenge your teens to challenge
themselves.

5. Provide Ways For Teens To Give Of Themselves.

It's tough to feel sorry for yourself when your eyes are on others.
Paul tells us in Philippians 2:4 that we should look not only on
our interests, but also the interests of others.

Keep a list of area organizations that use teens for volunteers.
When your child comes home looking low and using terms that beat up
his emotions, send him down to the area children's hospital and let
him share his life.

(Zone members get the other 5 ways on this list to send parents here:
http://www.teenlifeministries.com/site.php/arti/read/helping_your_teen_with_self-/

Blessings!
Paul and Al
www.teenlifeministries.com

Get in The Zone TODAY... www.teenlifeministries.com/thezone

236 Foxdale, Montgomery, AL 36109, USA

One more thought on comparisons

2009-04-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

Almost every (or possibly every time I present a talk to students there is something that I feel that I forgot to say or should have said. God works in through me and in spite of me at times. I know His truths can be recived even if I don't present it as well as I should. However, one of the great things about a blog is that I can share things that I didn't mention when I am speaking in front of everyone.

Last night I was talking about the dangers of comparisons. One thing that I don't think I mentioned is that everyone is on a journey that is not exactly like that of anyone else. God has a specific plan for you that He does not have for anyone else. So there, those are my extra thoughts about comparisons and it is out of my head and onto my blog.

YS Student Newsletter

2009-04-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

You may have seen previous youth specialties newsletters on Kevin's blog if you read it. You can subscribe to it yourself if you want to. Here is the most recent YS student newsletter:

YS Student Newsletter #388
April 6th, 2009

Contents
1. Something for Your Heart
2. Surf Report
3. Forgettable Fact
4. Potent Quotables
5. Uh, That's Funny?

=================================

Competitive Christians?

"Then he said to those standing by, 'Take his mina away from him and give it to the one who has ten minas.' 'Sir,' they said, 'he already has ten!' He replied, 'I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away.' " (Luke 19:24-26)

How seriously do you take the idea that there will be rewards in heaven for those who have served Christ well during this life? Does it motivate you to try harder? Does it ignite your competitive spirit? Does it make you willing to sacrifice more, to get up earlier, to dig deeper?

We're not talking about your salvation here, necessarily. However, this servant's inaction could have been the result of not really believing the king would return. In Matthew's version of a similar story, the inactive servant is thrown out of the kingdom. But many immature believers also seem to have decided that since works can't save us, God doesn't care about works.

That could not be more wrong. God created good works for us to do before we were ever saved. Paul describes his whole life as a kind of fierce competition to serve God faithfully for which he would be rewarded. And Jesus' story here strongly suggests that some will receive more than others for their effective work for Him.

Think: How are you investing your life, the one He gave you?

Pray: Thank God that He rewards those who serve Him. Ask Him to help you to be motivated by that in the best possible way.

Do: Make a quick list of the top 3 rewards you've earned so far in your life. Think about what makes those rewards valuable to you.
**
A Daily Devotional from PlanetWisdom.com, copyright 2009 Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Used by permission.

2. SURF REPORT

- The Audacity of Hope Book Review
It is possible to debate President Obama's politics all day, and it is clear that we at PlanetWisdom are in strong disagreement with some of President Obama's policies, most notably his pro-abortion stance. However, President Obama's political campaign was based on finding commonality instead of criticizing differences, and so we will try to do the same.
http://www.planetwisdom.com/books/reviews/audacityofhope.php

~ The Haunting in Connecticut Review
"Some things cannot be explained." Such is the tagline for "The Haunting in Connecticut," complete with a claim to be based on true events and a Discovery channel documentary on the incident.
http://www.planetwisdom.com/movies/hauntinginconnecticut.php
3. FORGETTABLE FACT

By feeding hens certain dyes they can be made to lay eggs with multi-colored yolks.

4. POTENT QUOTABLES

"The price of greatness is responsibility."
~ Winston Churchill

"Teachers: two kinds: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can't move and the kind that just give you a little prod from behind and you jump to the skies."
~ Robert Frost
5. UH, THAT'S FUNNY?

A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a driveway.

free rice

2009-03-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

How many of you have heard of free rice.com? 10? 20? well a lot of people have and if you haven't then your about to. Guess what free rice is an awesome website where you can answer vocabulary, art, grammar,language learning, math, chemistry or geography. And right now at this very moment over 72,000,000 grains of rice have been donated to another country. Just think you could be donating food to another country for just answering questions on a website. Also you can extend your vocabulary or any of the other stuff for free! Go get on right now at home, the library or at a friends house. So log on.

-Megan Miller

actually enjoying being told what's about to happen in a movie

2009-03-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

Many people know that I have a job working at a juvenile detention center. I don't enjoy it as much as my position at church, but I do really like working there (for several reasons that I am not going to list here). Anyway, I brought in a movie on Saturday night that I watched with the youth. It is called Joseph: King of dreams. It's a really well-done movie (with a little too much singing for my taste). It tells the story of Joseph from the later chapters in the book of Genesis in the Bible. There was a couple of high school age kids (16 and 17) who kept excitedly saying what was about to happen. The awesome thing was that they had never seen the movie! They had just retained what they had read in from their Bibles in their cell! I had details about the story reinforced from what they were saying, and probably learned some things too. For these two guys and for myself, it was evident to see that sometimes when you are not expecting it, God has you where he wants to so that He can better speak to you and show you His truths. God is so big and powerful! It is so awesome that He speaks to people through His word and other ways as well!

nowtryGod

2009-03-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

There is an awesome link to a website on Fairhaven Church's main website. The link won't work right now, but the site it has taken me to before is pretty awesome! The site is www.nowtrygod.com It may be a good site to look at yourself or to show your friends.

your story matters

2009-03-02T15:14:00.000-08:00

What's God done in your life? It is a big deal when God does something in your life. Your story is not exactly like the story of anyone else. If you would like to share anything that God has done in your life-it can be used to help others at our church (if your are reading this and we go to the same church-otherwise you can share it with someone to encourage them. If you are interested, then I would love to know about it!

more than winning

2009-02-23T16:49:00.000-08:00

Check out this awesome site from the FCA website: http://www.morethanwinning.org/

FCA-impact play

2009-02-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

Oddly enough I came in contact with Fairhaven Church through my work as an Area Associate for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes where I worked with (and helped start) school clubs and ministered to coaches and their teams. FCA (short for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes) puts out devotions called "Impact play" that you can get through e-mail. You can check out www.fca.org for more information. Here is an example of their impact play devotional:

Setbacks: Destroyer or Strengthener?
Thursday, February 19th, 2009

READY:
“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.”
-Hebrews 10:39 (NIV)

SET:
This year I turned 50 years old. It’s amazing to see how God has stood by my side through a half century of life. Has it been easy? Is a life with Multiple Sclerosis, like the one I lead, a life without challenges? Is training for bodybuilding competitions, something that is virtually impossible with MS, a walk in the park? Is God prepared for victory even as I face a battle that man says cannot be won? The answers are NO, NO, NO and YES!

Training with a debilitating disease is certainly challenging. MS has left my extremities with numbness and lack of coordination. I sometimes wonder why God has chosen me to do what I am doing, but I always come back to the same conclusion. He has His purpose, and I am just a vessel for His work.

In April of 2008, while bench pressing, I could not feel the strain I was placing on my muscles and my right pectoral muscle tore from the tendon. Ouch! Needless to say I was in tremendous pain as the internal bleeding from the injury continued to spread throughout my upper torso, swelling my right chest and arm, and leaving me immobilized. My doctor told me it would be a long six-month recovery before I could train my chest again and that even training upper body would be difficult for some time. My first and very human response was, “The MS Bodybuilding Challenge is over.” But then my faith in our Lord took over, and I put it all to prayer.

As the days and weeks went by, I continued to train my lower body and keep on my training diet. I slowly began to do upper-body workouts and even ventured into doing very light chest exercises. Within two months I was back training my chest and continually adding more weights to my workouts. My doctor thought I was crazy for pushing the muscles so soon, but now almost nine months later, I am training with weights comparable to those I was using before the injury. My pectoral muscle is still torn from the tendon and could not be repaired, so it is evident when flexing that there is an injury there. That injury might cause me to lose necessary points to win a bodybuilding competition, but I will not give up unless God tells me to.

You see, there are always setbacks in life, whether you are trying to accomplish what seems impossible or just living a “normal” life. We must never take our eyes off of Jesus, or we will surely sink into the water. I have chosen to remain steadfast as I look to God for my strength to press on despite the setbacks. I might have to postpone my competition to give me more time to train due to the injury, but I will not let a setback destroy my dream or His purpose for me. I have chosen to listen to God, put my hand to the plow and push forward without looking back.

God wants us to fulfill our purpose in life, regardless of the trials and tribulations He allows us to face. We must be strengthened by these times and seek our Lord for answers on how to push past the valley and continue on to the mountain. At times we let God lead us. At times we hold His hand. And at times we allow Him to carry us. Whichever position you are in at in this moment, keep your eyes on Jesus and let Him lead you in the way He knows is right for you. Let your setbacks become the strength of your life, not the destroyer of your dreams.

GO:
1. When setbacks happen in your life do you allow them to destroy you or strengthen you?
2. During a setback are your eyes on Jesus, or are you sinking?
3. Will you let God lead you, hold your hand or carry you as He sees fit when you face setbacks?

WORKOUT:
Matthew 14:30
Luke 9:62
2 Corinthians 4:8-10
1 Peter 1:6

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
David Lyons, a former youth pastor, was a healthy bodybuilder and health club owner in his 20s and 30s. In 2006, at the age of 47, Lyons was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. He is now training to be the first person with MS to compete in an NPC bodybuilding contest. Lyons is defying all odds to beat his disease. If you want to find out more about Lyons and his challenge to battle MS, or if you want to join the other celebrities, athletes and individuals who have become sponsors, log onto www.themsbodybuildingchallenge.com.

Now it's your Turn. Write your own FCA Devotional. . . Go to www.fca.org and click the "Submit your own FCA devo!" link on the right side.

For more information about FCA please visit FCA.org.

the end of an era

2009-02-04T12:36:00.000-08:00

I went to a high school wrestling meet on Saturday evening. In my opinion wrestling is a great sport. I competed for 10 years and coached for 2. What was special about this meet was what happened before the competition began. Stamat Bulgaris was honored because this was his last season coaching. He was an assistant coach at Beavercreek high school. Previously he had started college wrestling programs at Wright State and the University of Dayton (many colleges across the country do not have wrestling teams anymore, but that would require a long explanation that I do not want to give at this time). At Beavercreek high school he coached under one of his former athletes. I learned a lot about hard work, humbleness, and investing yourself in something you love from watching him as one of my coaches. I remember being amazed at how good of shape he was in and trying to guess how old he was. Neither myself nor my teammates knew how old he was, but we all had a deep respect for him. Coach Bulgaris coached for something like 40 years. He is one of those people that does not have to say anything, but he just has a strong presence. At the meet they listed many of his accomplishments. I can't remember most of them. What I won't forget is his example. The sport of wrestling, many individuals, including myself benefited greatly from Coach Bulgaris. He left a legacy. In him doing so, I am reminded to strive to leave a legacy as well.

the privilege of picking up trash

2009-01-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

Recently I was picking up trash after a particular weekly event was over for the night. I was thinking about how I pick up after students a couple of times a week. I thought to myself, "do I really want to be picking up trash for students when I'm in my 60's?"

Like most people, picking up trash is not one of my favorite things to do. What helps me is often when I pick up trash I think about how Jesus cleaned up the mess in my life and continues to do so. After I picked up a few more items I answered my question to myself, "yeah! I absolutely want to be picking up trash for students when I am in my 60's and probably when I am in my 70's. It is a great privilege to serve students and to see some of them meet God and grow in Him. I want to do that in some capacity as long as God allows me."

a lil' bit

2009-01-27T11:11:00.000-08:00

Hey,

If you are looking for a fun way to get to know God during your week I recommend checking out www.alilbit.com

Have the fun!!

RadioU

2009-01-21T13:32:00.000-08:00

Check out the website for my favorite radio station at www.radiou.com It may take you to tvulive.com/radiou A lot of the music is very good and the hosts are incredible!

What's friendship?

2008-12-31T09:32:00.000-08:00

I've been saying for a long time that many people are really bad with relationships, even though we are in relationships with people all of the time. We may have friendships, romances, family, friends, friends of friends, teammates, and acquaintances. Even with the increase of technology allowing us to communicate less directly to people, at least some in-person interaction with others is unavoidable. We all have relationships and see others in various types of relationships, but we still struggle with our relationships. In terms of relationships, practice does not make perfect because we often don't have the right mindset in relationships.

Two MTV shows currently highlight this struggle. Paris Hilton's My New BFF(best friends forever) and Bromance. The shows are very similar in that a group of people are competing in challenges to be the friend of a very financially rich person. Bromance stars Brody from MTV's The Hills who has a lot of expensive things and is cherished by shallow materialistic girls that he meets. Several young men are competing to be his friend. Paris Hilton has several young women and 2 flamboyant young men competing to be her friend.

Genuine healthy relationships do not begin like this. I have to wonder if anyone would be competing for their friendship if it was not on TV and if the stars of show did not have a ridiculous amount of money. The motivation is to seek what can be obtained from the relationship.

I have been blessed with several great friendships. With my friends there is a real trust and an enjoyment of being around the other person. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (NIV)." Real friendships have the motivation of "what can I give of myself?" instead of "what can I get out of this?" Real friends are there for you in both good and difficult times. Real friends are simply there.

Advent conspiracy

2008-11-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas shopping will go into overdrive very soon. I encourage you to go to this website http://www.adventconspiracy.org/ and play the video on in that says, "lack of." I think that it is some good perspective at this time of the year.

What bothered me about the election

2008-11-06T15:35:00.000-08:00

If you are aware at all about what is going on in the United States of America, you likely noticed that Tuesday was an election day. I don't consider myself a very political person, although I do have a lot of opinions. I am not very bothered by the results of the election. Some things that I voted for passed and some did not. God is sovereign and it does me no good to worry. What bothers me is this statistic that I saw on the television-"only 16% of people under 30 voted!" That is less than in 2000 and 2004 (both of the previous election years that I have had the privilege of participating in). When a person chooses not to vote, they are in essence saying, "I know that I have a right to be a part of deciding what happens to me and our society, but that is not worth my time or effort. Whatever happens will just happen." While I do not concern myself with political matters year round, I can't imagine giving up the right of my voice. I want to believe that young people are passionate, idealistic, and care about the world around them. When I turned 18 I was very excited that I had more rights and responsibilities. I was happy to be growing up, but still youthful. The power to vote is still a pretty new and exciting privilege for me. I love that I have a say. I don't believe that God would want His people to stand idly by and let decisions be made for them. Even outside of a faith standpoint, I cannot understand not voting and passively letting decisions be made for me. Don't let anyone take away your voice! Living in a free country and having a voice is one of the greatest things that we possess!

What we can learn from a mob flash

2008-10-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

Ever since I subscribed to Netflix I have been watching some weird documentaries. They are often very thought provoking. They can be interesting, something that I strongly disagree with, or something that is just challenging. I think it is helpful to be challenged by things that we disagree with. Some parts of these documentaries can be rather offensive, but I do gain a broader perspective from them.

One documentary that I recently watched was 24 Hours on Craig’s list. Craig’s List is an internet site where you can buy used items, advertise events, and more. While some parts of it were weird and offensive with the perspectives of people who were emotionally/mentally disturbed (so I prayed for them), there were some things that were just quirky, and one thing that made me think.

One event that was advertised was called a “mob flash.” There were very specific directions for what to do in this mob flash. It was an invitation for a large group of people (anyone can come) to all meet at a particular place and does specific things at specific times. The documentary showed a random game of duck-duck goose with a couple hundred people. Anyone who wanted to was invited to meet and hang out afterwards. A person interviewed said, “I haven’t played that game since I was five! I had such a great time!

Another flash mob met in the lobby of a large business. At once they all acted like they were falling asleep. A few minutes later at the planned time everyone got up, looked refreshed, and left. Again, anyone who wanted to met at a place and hung out.
What an awesomely fun idea!

While I realize that not everyone can pick up and do something like that which is so spur of the moment, but many young people live just like that. I love the concept of meeting together for fun and letting relationships flow naturally. This is how my relationships have helped me grow in my faith. I believe that it just makes sense. Worship services, Bible meetings, and personal time with God is great and vital, but we can also grow through doing life together! We all need relationships that keep us accountable, teach us, challenge us, and encourage us.

My version of the abundant life

2008-10-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

Jesus said"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10 NASB) I realize that this has numerous implications. Jesus did not come to simply make us happy. He came to give us a fuller life-an eternal life, and a relationship with Him. I could go on and on about the difference that Christ can make in a person's life, but I will just say that He does make an incredible difference. We can be satisfied, fulfilled, and have inner peace.

With all that being said, I feel like one of the ways in which my relationship with God plays out is through being joyful. I really enjoy life. Smiles and laughter are often contagious.

I had spoken with a guy at the Juvenile Detention Center that I work with a few months ago about his eternal destiny. He told me, "I have a grandfather that is a preacher and I know a lot of what the Bible says. I know that according to the Bible if I were to die right now that I would go to hell. I'm not ready to change." At first this guy would get on my nerves occasionally, but now we get along well. He told me the other night-"Dave, you're not like 99% percent of the world. You just don't care what people think about you." I had encouraged him to seek refuge in the Lord on a couple of occasions, but I think that what God may be working through the most is being enjoying life and being silly. This same guy that I work with recorded my first utube video recently. It is really typical daily silly stuff that I do, but people have found it amusing and I hope that you will too. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sa1ixiJ6t0 If that doesn't work you can go to utube and search under Dave's safety dance. There are so many awesome silly moments that are not caught on video-but I am glad that I am finally on utube. Often most people settle in life. I hope and pray that people around the world would find more and more the truly abundant life that Jesus Christ intended us to experience.

That's in the Bible....?

2008-10-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

I was talking with some friends recently debating faith issues in a non-attacking way. One guy said something that didn't sound quite right and said, "and that's in the Bible." It may have been in the Bible, but I'm not confident of it. There are a lot of saying that sound like the Bible, but really aren't there. It is important to be able to see what is cultural or from tradition and what is really from the Bible.

I don't have the entire Bible memorized by any stretch of the imagination, but I have been studying it for years-on my own, in church, and through formal higher education. Lately in my discussions about faith issues I have been trying to reference the book that I am quoting (or paraphrasing). I think it adds credibility to what I am saying and gives a point of reference for further questioning-which I think is very healthy.

The Bible is an amazing book. It was written over a period of more than 2,000 years with over 30 different authors and it doesn't contradict itself. I look for ways that it appears to contradict and I continue to find that the Bible is completely trustworthy. A book like that is nothing short of an incredible miracle of divine intervention. It's not a rule book in the way that a lot of people think. I see the Bible as God's love letter to humanity and as our road map for life. It is often easy to say, "oh I've heard that before" and to think that we know all we need to know. I would encourage everyone (myself included) to try to look at the Bible with a fresh pair of eyes. It is not like other books. It is worth reading through carefully, praying through, exploring further, striving to understand better, and trusting. It is so rich with truth. I recommend that we all give the Bible a chance as we hang out with God and let God pour the rich truths of this awesome book into our lives.

a real friend

2008-09-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I had an afternoon where I was really stressed. To be honest, I think I am carrying a lot of the burden of CONVERGE. That's just not healthy. I now striving to walk by faith and trust God with this ministry. I feel like lately my insecurities have been attacked. I continue to pray and refer back to the truth of the situation and realize that the negative things that I was feeling just weren't true. The stress was really affecting me emotionally. Most of the time I am really happy, so people can tell very quickly if something is bothering me.

There's a guy I know who I have been friends with since the third grade. He seemed to have great timing that day. I had stayed at church a couple of hours longer than what I intended to. I did this because I was trying to carry the burden instead of just completely trusting God. At that time this friend, my best friend called me. We went out to eat, which is really therapeutic for me. He drove me to the restaurant. Before we got out of the car he did two really great things. He prayed for me, which was much needed and very meaningful. Then he made me commit to not talking about anything church work related the whole time I was there. I had a great time talking about sports and life and just relaxing. It was exactly what I needed. Proverbs 17:17 says, "a friend loves at all times, a brother is born for adversity." This friend is the closest thing that I have to a brother. I am fortunate enough that I have several friends like this, and this is the kind of friend that I want to always be.

Neighbors

2008-09-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went with some friends to see the new movie Lakeview Terrace. It was really interesting to see the epitome of a bad relationship between neighbors. There were continuous subtle verbal jabs exchanged with great skill (as well as many other various hurtful acts). While it was very entertaining, that is not a skill that I think people should excel at. Often people excel and take pride in hurting others. I think that the intellect behind that can be used for much better things. Yes, if you are wondering I do feel very nerdy right now as I write this, but I don’t really always write how I talk. If a person is told five positive things and one negative thing, he or she is more likely to focus on the negative thing. I don’t know if that has to do with not being affirmed enough, sin nature, identity struggles, not understanding that we were created in the image of God, or biological issues. The fact remains that negative words can really damage people emotionally. I have so many people in my life that surround me and bombard me with encouragement. Many people have very little encouragement shown to them.

It is amazing to see how lots of people have really helped each other during recent power outages. People have allowed others to use their showers, shared freezer and fridge space, shared electricity to their neighbor who didn’t have it and talked to people that they normally may not talk to.

I’m not typically a great neighbor. I would like to be and often plan to be, but it usually doesn’t happen. I’m not a bad neighbor, but I could do more. My birthday occurred just before the beginning of each fall semester in college. I always planned to share birthday cake with the people in the rooms next to mine, but I would always end up eating it all (my grandma makes great cake) or some of it would get old because I had a lot and I would never get around to talking to them and meeting them. I love meeting new people, but I have never been great with people that lived next to me, unless I knew them from something else already. The power outages have taught me that it is never too late to be a good neighbor. I imagine myself talking to the people that live around me and them saying, “dude, you’re a jerk. You’ve lived here over a year and your just now asking me what my name is (they haven’t asked me either).” The truth is that people aren’t generally that vicious, especially if they are approached with sincerity and tact.

It is not too late to be a good neighbor. It’s not too late to reach out to someone. It’s not too late to extend courtesies. I think many of us; me included would be pleasantly surprised with the result.

Narrow and broad views of intimacy

2008-09-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

My favorite young married couple (who I am very good friends with) recently were blessed with their first child, a healthy baby boy. I am very excited for them. They are a great example as a couple of what a romantic relationship should be.

About 200 people saw their first kiss because it was at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony. That is incredibly counter-culture. Our culture for many years has sent the message that physical affection precedes emotional love. I remember an old song that a woman sang (I think by Vonda Shepherd and made popular by Cher) called It’s In His Kiss. The song goes through ways for a girl to try to find out if he loves her examining his eyes, face, embrace, the way he acts, his charm and decides that the only way to know for sure is in his kiss. A kiss is a wonderful way to express love, but physical intimacy should not precede relational intimacy. Waiting until marriage to kiss someone may not be for everyone, but I do think that it is the right thing for some people and a potentially great example of intimacy for others.

A huge part of our culture suffers from a narrow view of intimacy. When many people hear the word “intimacy” they automatically think only of the physical aspects of a romantic relationship between a guy and a girl or possibly just sexual activity. Real intimacy is more than that. So much so in fact, that it is difficult to describe or put into words. I hear concern of some people about sexual compatibility as if real intimacy were just about physical things. I have heard people say, “I wouldn’t buy a car without first taking a test drive, so I wouldn’t marry someone without having sex with them first.” That’s a horrible illustration! Picking a potential marriage partner is nothing like buying a car. I think that many marriages are unsatisfying because they lack real intimacy.

I saw real intimacy in the relationship that my friends had before they got married. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other, held each other, laughed, communicated, and the way that they talked about each other. My friends were crazy about each other and it was not self-seeking. (1 Corinthians 13:5) Both of my friends love the other one deeply and are enjoying a wonderful marriage relationship. They recently had their first child about 16 months into their marriage and I know that they will be great parents to their new son.

fingernails

2008-08-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

I was watching the movie Juno last night at the Juvenile Detention Center where I work. We have a privilege session for the youth that followed the rules that day and watching that movie was our activity for that the privilege session that day. There is some great dialog in Juno. It is very witty. As I get older my tastes broaden. I don't think I would have liked the music when I was in high school, but I do now.

Anyway, one thing that struck me was the scene where Juno (the female main character) goes into the abortion clinic. There is a classmate mispronouncing words and shouting (with good intentions and not angrily) in protest of abortion outside of the clinic. As Juno is about to enter the clinic the protesting student says, "your baby probably has finger nails." This seem to make Juno stop and think for a second as she walked into the clinic. She sat down and noticed the fingernails on various people in the waiting room. The noise of the fingernails grew louder and louder in her head until she finally ran out of the clinic and decided to embrace her pregnancy.

I consider myself to be pro-life. There are lots of "what ifs" that go into the abortion issue. I am not going to go into all of them at this point. I just like the statements that were made in this scene about the value of human life, taking responsibility, and the information about how babies grow inside the mother's womb. In closing, I am glad that my mom was pro-life, because if she was not then I possibly would not be here right now.

Hope in the midst of annoyance

2008-08-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

I don’t watch a lot of “chick flicks”, but I have seen some. I think that most everyone has. While I do like silly comedy, action, and sports movies, occasionally a love story is unpredictable, entertaining, and somewhat inspirational. There is one “chick flick” that keeps popping into my head. The Notebook is that movie. This is not because I really like the movie. The movie actually irritates me. I really like the movie Hitch, which is a movie that both girls and guys seem to really enjoy. There is good reason for this-it is an awesome movie! The Notebook seems to appeal to mainly one gender. It seems that for most girls between the ages of 14 and 35 The Notebook is one of their favorite movies.

It has been a couple of years since I saw The Notebook (I only watched it once), but I can’t seem to be able to escape it. Love stories are often predictable, cheesy, and unrealistic. What I remember of this movie could have actually happened. I am a sucker for sports movies. They always seem to have a happy ending. I think I don’t really like The Notebook because not everything works out in the end. At the end of the movie the wife has Alzheimer’s. Her husband who has loved her for many years keeps visiting her it the nursing home. There are moments where it seems like she is going to recover and recognize him again for good. The couple will have a romantic moment, a dance, a conversation, and then she won’t recognize him and yell at him with orders to go away. I remember watching this and getting frustrated because I have been spoiled by happy endings in the past.

Lately because this irritating “chick flick” keeps popping into my mind. I have decided to ask girls and women at several ages why they like this movie so much that simply annoyed me. I learned that it was because the husband had unconditional love for his wife. He loved her even when she didn’t recognize him and could not love him back. He loved her in the midst of his suffering. He took the words “till death do us part” literally (as he should). He loved his wife even when it wasn’t easy or convenient.

We live in a world where (according to the most recent statistics that I have read) most marriages end in divorce, where over half of men cheat on their wives, and a third of women cheat on their husbands. While I have a “leave it to beaver” family tree where every adult is a Christian and no one (outside of maybe a fifth or sixth cousin) has been divorced I still see reason for lack of hope for romantic relationships. I have to admit that it makes me angry when anyone cheats on any person whether dating or married. Humans are not savage beasts, but sometimes they act like they are. I know that we all are vulnerable to sin, but people don’t accidentally make out with someone that is not their significant other.

In this movie that I found irritating because not everything “got fixed.” In the end I see a glimmer of hope for society. I see an inner longing for monogamy and unconditional love. I see a desire to fulfill the vowel of “til death do us part.” To me one of the greatest sights is a couple that has been married over 50 years and you know just by watching them hold hands or have a conversation that they are crazy about each other. I could go on and on with my theories about romantic relationships. But for now I will just say that “till death do us part” is very possible and much more likely in a Christ-centered relationship.

A tale of two Sundays

2008-08-04T06:26:00.000-07:00

A week ago I visited another church in the area (probably not the one that you might be thinking of). I had just spent a week at high school work camp and wanted to be fed spiritually with no responsibilities in an casual environment. A lot of my friends go to this church and God is doing great things there. I don't agree with a couple of their denomination's teaching, but I still do agree with most everything that they do. Their service was possibly the most creative worship service that I have ever been to. I wore a t-shirt and shorts because that is more of what is the norm there. I sat on a stool eating popcorn (that the church had provided) during the service. There was the first good use of a beach ball in a spiritual event that I had ever seen. The theme of the service was joy. The beach ball was tossed around while a secular song (with words slightly changed to tie into the message) was played. There were banners that expressed the theme of joy on the walls all around the room. There was a great discussion that the senior Pastor had with the kids that tied into the theme. The children were given the opportunity to blow bubbles. I love blowing bubbles! Instead of a full length sermon at the end, there were two Pastors taking turns making points. It was like mini tag team sermons separated by God songs, a video, a prayer exercise and talk with the children. The prayer exercise was very cool. Along the wall at the front of the sanctuary were banners that had the word joy on it in huge bubble letters. Near it was a bowl full of crayons. We were encouraged to grab a crayon and talk to God as we wrote or drew on the sign. I grabbed a red crayon and drew fire on the inside of the letter J, telling God that I wanted to be spiritually on fire for Him. I drew a trinity symbol on the outside of the letters, telling God that I wanted to lead people in creative ways that are "outside the box." I want to learn about creativity from the author of Creativity-God Himself. The Pastors of that church were speaking about how God has expressed joy in creating. The way that they explained it was that God has child-like joy. Children often times when they are getting tossed up in the air say, "do it again!" Children can enjoy the same video over and over. As we get older often times we enjoy life less and get frustrated with the monotony of life. Our sin "ages us" and we enjoy life less that what God intends us to do. One of the amazing things about God is that He can clean us up and make us new again. The Psalms say, "restore to me the joy of your salvation (51:12a)" I don't believe that God thinks, "I have already made millions of dandelions and I am annoyed to make one more." I believe that it is the opposite-that God takes joy in creating. I think we could learn so much in creativity and joy from seeing how God works. I want to help people experience God in creative ways.

I went to second service at Fairhaven Church yesterday. I was unfamiliar with many of the songs, but the words were still good. The songs tied in well with what we were doing and the flow of the worship experience. We took communion which is always powerful. The message from Kirk had a video, a personal story, great Biblical insight, and practical truths. It was not as creative as the church service I went to the week before(but neither had any other worship service I had ever been to), but it was still creative. I left not feeling like I had really worshiped. I began to think about why I was feeling this way. Our service was well put together and truth was proclaimed. The difference was that the week before I was not distracted and I came expecting God to teach me and to connect with Him way more than I did yesterday. Sometimes it becomes natural because of the rest of culture influencing us to come to church with a consumer mentality, asking"what will they do to meet my needs?" I believe that instead we should come to church with an attitude that says, "God I want to praise you, focus on you, learn about you, serve you, and glorify you." God is speaking all of the time, but we are not already ready to listen. Today God is still speaking and still inviting us to listen to Him.

THE PLACE (hopefully the first and last time I will use this to advertise)

2008-07-16T15:42:00.000-07:00

Right now I am at the stage of promoting this new event called THE PLACE. It still feels weird for me to promote anything other than a restaurant that I am really excited about. I guess that a lot about my calling feels weird to me. I firmly believe that God has called me to vocational Christian ministry. I am thankful for and feel unworthy of this calling. I am simply a guy that God has asked to do some really awesome things and I have said, "yes." I don't why why He selected me to do some of the things that I have done, but I am glad. I don't feel very "pastoral" and am still coming to terms with God's plans for my life. I know that God is using me to help people and that's really amazing and wonderful to me. I am definitely just Dave. People will ask me what I do at Fairhaven church and sometimes I respond at first with, "I have a fancy sounding title, but I am really just Dave." I don't think that I am a great Christian, but I want to be. While I am far from perfect, I really do enjoy getting the opportunity to point people to a God who is perfect and wonderful beyond words. If you are still wondering, my title is presently Associate Pastor of Student Ministries.

For whatever reason, I feel God is leading me to start this event that I am calling, THE PLACE. I think a ministry for younger post high school people to come together and get to know God is really important and I wish that it was a priority for more churches. Too often I think that a student ministry is viewed as successful if a lot of people come to the high school ministry events. This is not even close to a good measurement. The Great Commission asks us to make disciples, not have a lot of people show up to our events. It is cool when a lot of people show up to have fun and check out God, but that's definitely not the end goal. Kevin and Kyle do a great job of leading the student ministries and being used by God to make disciples. These guys love God and students. It is a privilege for me to be their teammates. However, I think that it is past time that we offer more for people after high school. I think that doing this is a big part of working towards making disciples. I think that it is the 3rd part (the fist two being middle school and high school) of a student ministry bringing people to mature Christian adulthood. (obviously before adolescence the early childhood and kids ministry have an incredibly important role laying a foundation for spiritual growth in the lives of people)

All that brings me to THE PLACE which is based on Psalm 34:8 (I encourage you to check it out yourself). It basically talks about knowing God and taking refuge in Him. We are going to talk about this verse during the first two previews of The Place (July 30 and August 13). The last preview of the event we are going to talk about shame and regret. I think that will be a unique night. I will try to not make it too heavy, but it will be very honest and real. I just think that it is a crucial topic that the (universal) church does not do a great job of dealing with. This will be on August 27. We will be having fun and talking about the values of this new ministry at each preview event. THE PLACE will be in the student ministries room from 9-10:30 on Wednesdays. It will happen every Wednesday starting September 10. I encourage you to explore the CONVERGE website where you probably found this blog. http://www.fairhavenchurch.org/converge/

So please don't think of this as a sales pitch. This is just where I feel God is leading me. I just think that it would be awesome for people 18-25 to experience community, seeking God together.

The music debate

2008-06-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how much people will debate about music within most local churches in America. A lot of people really like more modern choruses. Many others strongly prefer hymns. I have heard of a church putting together 7 different worship services with different styles of music for each one. I like many types of music. It can be easy to tune out the words of a song if it is a style that you don't enjoy. I remember as a teenager having a black gospel choir come to the church that I was a member at. At least 10 people walked out. They did not walk out because the choir did anything offensive. They walked out because they did not enjoy the music style. I think that Psalm 150 settles a lot of the arguments. This portion of scripture says to praise God everywhere, for everything, and with many instruments. In verse 6a the Bible says, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." I enjoy Christian hip-hop a lot. God really speaks to me through it. Some churches even have hip-hop services. However sometimes when I am driving and listening to rap music that reminds me of how incredible God is and teaches me truths from the Bible I wonder if people that hear the beat automatically make several negative assumptions about me, I like hard rock music that glorifies God. I enjoy several styles of music and appreciate any song that helps people relate to God. We need different styles of music to help different people with different tastes relate to God. However, all music that honors God should be valued. I am not generally a country music fan, but I think that there are people that are proclaiming the love of God through country music and that is a great thing. I think that it is amazing that He has given us so many avenues through music alone to relate to Him! My grandfather had a lot of sayings. Most of them I did not totally understand. One saying that I did understand was him saying, "If a dog is barking for Jesus then I am for that dog!” I believe that while the music style can help a person open their heart to God, the important thing is that regardless of what we hear that we do in fact open our hearts to God and allow Him to do what He wants in our lives. Thanks for reading. I would love to read thoughts that anyone reading this has on music and relating to God through it.

Hi! I'm Dave! or "Welcome to a Dave's Eye View"

2008-05-12T06:41:00.000-07:00

Hi! I'm Dave! This is the beginning of my blog. I am writing a blog in hopes that my thoughts on life will help others in their life journey. I also help to use it to get to know people and for people to get to know me. I often have thoughts running through my head that I want to share and I think that this blog will be a good avenue for that.

I enjoy many great blessings in my life. One of those is having the role of being Associate Pastor of Student Ministries at Fairhaven Church in Centerville (Suburb of Dayton), Ohio. This role allows me to work with Middle School students, High School students, and College age people. I look forward to getting to know people better in days ahead.

A bird's-eye view is a view of an object from above, as though the observer were a bird, often used in the making of blueprints, floor plans and maps. (source= wikipedia) You might have guessed that I am not a bird, as birds can not type. As I previously stated, my name is Dave, and I have a different view on life than many people. If you have seen me then you know that I am vertically challenged. Although I see things at a lower level than some, that is not why. If you have heard me talk about myself and my history you might know that my vision is twice as bad as what is needed to be considered legally blind (yes, I do still drive-I have contacts and glasses that are sufficient). I am not talking about a visual view as much as a world view.

I see the world differently for a couple of reasons. First of all, I think differently than many people. It is a little difficult to explain, but I act and mentally process things differently than other people.

Secondly, I have a Biblical world view. Everyone looks at the world through some type of mental lens. George Barna in his research puts it like this (for the purposes of his research): "A biblical worldview is defined as believing that absolute moral truths exist; that such truth is defined by the Bible; and firm belief in six specific religious views. Those views were that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life; God is the all-powerful and all-knowing Creator of the universe and He stills rules it today; salvation is a gift from God and cannot be earned; Satan is real; a Christian has a responsibility to share their faith in Christ with other people; and the Bible is accurate in all of its teachings." Having this view affects not only the way that I think, but the way that I act, and how I treat other people. The more that I embrace this view, the more I can become like Christ Jesus. I often pray for God to help me to see things like He does, thinking like He does, seeing others like He does, and acting more like Him.

My question at this time to encourage and challenge you and I is to ask, “Through what lens are we viewing the world?” I welcome your comments.